Thursday, September 20, 2012

Why Do We Seek Approval?

Horse Therapy clients often all wonder the same thing. Why do we tend to seek approval so much in our lives? It's a great question and it's something that almost every human struggles with to some degree or another. 

"According to “Understanding the Psychology of Guilt” on eruptingmind.com, most children were taught from a young age to seek approval from their parents for the things they said or did. Since the need for approval, love and acceptance from our parents is strong, we become conditioned over time to seek approval from others as well. Whenever we don’t receive approval from someone who is not our parent, there is an automatic trigger and desire to win it back (which could explain the yearning to open that closed door).

When we aren’t met with approval, we no longer feel safe and protected. “When we meet ridicule or rejection, it can undermine our view of ourselves,” stated the previously-referenced article on advancedlifeskills.com. “If we internalize this kind of negative feedback, we can begin to doubt our personal worth. This threatens our sense of security and disrupts our inner harmony.”"

 

"To end on a more uplifting note, “Who Needs Approval” discusses what it means to hone in on self-validation. “When you act or speak in a way that makes you feel good about yourself, stop and acknowledge it. When you work hard on a project or goal, find a way to reward yourself. It is not egotistical to give yourself acknowledgment.”

Though in reality we are affected by our external environment, we can try not to embody rejection as a reflection of who we are; it’s important to maintain self-love and compassion, regardless of what occurs outside of ourselves."

 

I thought Psych Central did a great job in overviewing why we tend to reach out to others for approval. To read the rest of the article click on the source link below! 

Source: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/09/20/what-drives-our-need-for-app...

 

Pegasus equine therapy brings counseling to individuals as well as groups! 

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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Stress and Money

I really wanted to share this article from PsychCentral.com because I feel those in the equine therapy and horse therapy communities should take a look! Everyone has days where they are stressed about money, so this is a list of 8 things to do when you're stressed. 

"1. Ignore Amy.

The amygdala, the almond shaped group of neurons in the limbic system of the brain, isconsidered by most neurobiologists our fear system, and it acts like an ape or a how a human would have acted, say, back when we still had lots of hair all over. The adrenaline that you are feeling when you see stock exchange plummet is the amydala getting crazy, hosting a party in your head, whatever. I call my amygdala “Amy.” And whenever I panic, I tell her to go take a nap, that I can’t tolerate her noise and ruckus right now.

 

2. Distract Yourself

It’s not easy to quiet your amygdala, which is why the best thing you can do for yourself at times is to distract yourself. My mom knew the importance of this point when she knitted 100 blankets the year my dad left. For every occasion for about 10 years, everyone would receive an afghan as a gift. Until she stopped getting invited. (Just kidding.) This activity pulled her through the worst years of her life.

3. Surrender Control

The most uncomfortable part of financial anxiety is the lack of control most of us feel. It’s contrary to our human psychology. We want to drive the car, or at least be the passenger in the front seat giving directions. But in an economic downturn, we’re not even in the car. We have no say on which rest stations we are stopping at. In fact, much of the time if feels like we are riding in the trailer hitched to the back of the car. With the horses. Admitting that we’re not in control can be somewhat liberating. Because the stock market is life: you win some, you lose some, and you don’t have a whole lot of say in the whole matter.

4. Know Thyself

I have a friend who always freaks when the stock market dives. She sells all of her stocks and then invests again when they go back up. And she loses a lot of money in the process. Part of her problem, I think (and I can say that with authority because I am not her), is that she doesn’t know her risk tolerance. If she would realize that she has a low risk tolerance, then she’d see that she’d be better off in bonds and more conservative investments. Instead, she pulls out whenever there’s movement on Wall Street. Just like every other kind of anxiety, knowing your financial comfort zone can lead you to a path of peace. Or so they say

5. Turn It Off

Just like I said in my post “8 Ways to Manage Anxiety on an Anniversary,” one of the worst things you can do for your amygdala, or fear system in the brain, is to keep the TV and radio tuned into the latest news on Wall Street, to keep checking cnn.com to find out what the newest number is. This kind of compulsive behavior is toxic for the obsessive, sensitive folks who are prone to anxiety even without a reporter telling them to run for cover. Treat your amygdala well. Turn the news off. Except for this piece, of course.

6. Get Greedy

This point may seem contrary to the others, but I have studied investment strategies, and think there’s logic to what Warren Buffet once said: “When everyone is fearsome, that’s the time to be greedy, and when everyone’s greedy, that’s the time to be fearsome.” What does he mean? It’s the same sort of logic I describe in my “12 Depression Busters”: when the last thing you want to do is to get dressed and say hello to some folks, that is the time when doing so is more important than ever. So if you are afraid to invest a few hundred dollars into a course that could potentially get you a raise … don’t think about the dollars and concentrate on the potential raise.

7. Do Nothing

If you realize that your risk tolerance is quite low or if you have absolutely no money to invest, you can relax and do nothing. A story I read the other day profiled a guy who threw away his PIN number so that he couldn’t check his stocks any more. Just knowing that downturns are part of the economic process for the reward of high gains — that you have to risk volatility to acquire any profit and that this is all the nature of the beast — can sometimes help you sit tight and hang on during the wild ride.

8. Trust

I often make the point in dealing with severe depression that you absolutely have to trust that you won’t always feel so horrible and hopeless, that you will get better. Part of successful cognitive behavioral therapy is trusting in that optimistic message.

It has the power to pull you forward.

So know this: the economy will run its course and you will one day have a bulky wallet again."

Source: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/09/07/stressed-about-money-8-bette...

 

Pegasus equine therapy brings counseling to individuals as well as groups! 

 

Please support us by Liking our page at…. Horse Therapy