Enhancing Your Relationship

This is a great post from Psych Central on enhancing relationships. Here are a couple different ways to make a relationship renewed. 

1. Create connection-boosting rituals.

“Create a meaningful way to connect that meets both partners’ needs for connection that you can count on each day,” Massey-Hastings said. For instance, when she was just beginning her career, she and her husband would eat dinner together almost every night.

But then her schedule changed, and that was no longer possible. “One week of this shift and we were both in tears — we didn’t realize how much that ritual structured our time to connect,” she said. So they revised their routine. Today, they have a snack when she gets home.

“Eating together and talking about the day, for couples and for families, is a very powerful ritual of connection,” she said.

Rituals don’t need to be elaborate, either. It could be something as simple as rubbing each other’s feet every night, which Massey-Hastings and her husband also do. It’s a minute but meaningful ritual they look forward to, she said.

If you have kids, you can create rituals after they’re in bed. For instance, Massey-Hastings works with a couple who cuddles in bed for 30 minutes after putting their child to bed.

2. Be affectionate when you say hello or goodbye.

“A time that lends itself naturally to acknowledging your bond is around moments of separation and reunions,” said Irwin, who also leads workshops for couples. She suggested asking yourself: “Do I hug and kiss my partner when we greet each other or say goodbye? How about in the evening when we say goodnight?”

If you’ve been together for a long time, you might not. But this can contribute to “couples feeling more like roommates than lovers,” she said. Whether it’s a hug, kiss or touch, daily physical attention can greatly enhance your relationship.

3. Let your partner know they’re on your mind.

Send your partner a text, leave a loving note or give them a quick call during the day, Irwin said. As she noted, these seemingly small gestures communicate an important message: “You matter to me.” “This can be especially meaningful when folks work long hours or experience prolonged periods of separation,” she said.

4. Acknowledge how much your partner means to you.

Let your partner know the things they do or say that are meaningful to you, Irwin said. Maybe your partner gives you a massage every night or cracks a joke after you’ve had a tough day at work. Maybe they make you coffee every morning or always wash the dishes after you cook dinner.

“[This] shows that you aren’t taking your partner for granted, and lets them know that they make a difference in your life,” she said. “A wonderful positive spiral that can ensue when we take a moment to point out the way we appreciate our partner,” she added.

5. Check in with each other.

“Make it an intention to slow down, make eye contact, sit near each other, touch one another and check in,” Irwin said. Even just asking your partner “How are you?” is a beautiful way to bond.

“These conversations bring a significant point of connection in couples’ sometimes-busy, seemingly parallel lives. It’s saying to each other ‘In our crazy lives, the person I want to talk with at the end of the day is you!’” she said.

Relationships certainly take work. But nourishing your partnership every day isn’t painstaking. Instead, it gives you the opportunity to build your bond. Plus, helping your relationship blossom on a daily basis helps you cope better as a couple with the inevitable challenges of life."

Source: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/01/28/5-ways-to-enhance-your-relat...

Caring for Yourself

It's very important to take care of yourself. During horse therapy and equine therapy for those with addiction we make these 6 points a MUST for recovery! The article is provided by Psych Central

1. Care for your needs.

"According to Hanks, “A great place to start cultivating a healthy relationship with yourself is by caring for your basic physical needs.” That includes getting enough sleep and rest, eating nutrients and exercising.

Conway agreed. She stressed the importance of giving yourself the space to discover and connect to “what feeds you in mind, body and spirit.”

2. Joy is important.

“Prioritize the activities that bring you joy and fill your emotional reserves,” Hanks said. Conway suggested giving yourself treats every day, such as “a walk in the park, a small bar of chocolate, a long bath [or] a yoga class.”

3. Focus on your inner world.

According to Hanks, a healthy relationship with yourself also includes being aware of your internal processes. She suggested simply asking yourself these questions on a regular basis: “What am I feeling? What am I thinking?”

Also, consider the why behind your behavior, thoughts and feelings. For instance, Hanks suggested asking: “I wonder why that’s bothering me? I wonder why I’m feeling more lonely lately?”

Journaling and therapy are other vehicles for becoming more self-aware, she said.

Conway teaches several online courses and offers a free workbook, which also help readers tune into their inner lives.

4. Regularly make time for yourself.

For instance, “Sit quietly for 10 minutes in the morning with your first cup of coffee,” Conway said. “Find books that speak to your soul and steal moments to dig into them every day,” she said.

5. Meditate.

“I find the most useful method to be the gift, to oneself, of a daily meditation,” Duffy said. “In those moments between the thoughts, we allow ourselves peace of mind that can carry us through even the most stressful days.” These are several suggestions on meditating:

• Meditation for Beginners
• How I Meditate
• How to Get Yourself to Meditate

6. Be your own best friend.

“Any time you hear the negative put-downs swirling around your head, think about what you’d say to your best friend or sister or daughter, and then rewrite the script with love,” Conway said.

Again, cultivating a positive relationship with yourself is the building block for your whole world. As Hanks said, “It’s crucial to have a great relationship with ourselves because it’s the only relationship that you are guaranteed to have every day of your life!”"

Source: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/01/13/6-ways-you-can-have-a-health...

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Sleep, Mental Health, and Equine Therapy

Sleep can greatly effect the state of our mental health and plays a large impact on how we go about the day. In equine therapy and horse therapy we will see many patients who's depression sarted out from the lack of sleep. Here is more information from Psych Central. 

"Today, we think that sleeping through the night is a sign of normal and healthy slumber. In fact, people who wake up around the same time every night think their sleep is fractured — and that something is wrong, Randall writes. And when they complain about this concern to their doctors, they probably walk away with a sleeping pill, he says.

But segmented sleep has actually been the norm for thousands of years — that is, until the advent of artificial lighting. In the 1980s and ‘90s, history professor Roger Ekirch began seeing interesting patterns in his book collection, which included tales and medical texts: references to “first sleep” and “second sleep.”

Psychiatrist Thomas Wehr also began seeing strange results in his sleep experiment: After participants, who were deprived of artificial light for up to 14 hours, caught up on their sleep and felt more rested, they’d wake up around midnight and lie awake for about an hour, and then fall asleep.

In another study, Wehr found that during that hour awake the brains of participants were churning out higher levels of prolactin. This hormone reduces stress and relaxes the body after orgasm, according to Randall.

Before Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, people would fall asleep after sunset. Then they’d naturally wake up around midnight for about an hour. During that time individuals might do anything from praying to reading to having sex. Then they’d naturally fall back asleep until morning.

Randall notes that other studies have confirmed that people naturally experience segmented sleep. And in areas with no artificial light, people still experience first and second sleep."

Source: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/01/07/the-strange-surprising-scien...

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